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A Musing Amma

~ Gathering the pieces of our lives together under the eyes of the Holy

A Musing Amma

Category Archives: balance

Advent III: Signs of Hope-Harmony

11 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by Elizabeth Nordquist in advent, balance, doing good, Hope, joy

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Advent, Eric Whitacre, joy, singing, Soul Music

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So much of the Great Grayness that we are living through is covered with noise and disconnection. We read of or hear people screaming, horns blasting, helicopters hovering, sirens klaxoning all through our roads and towns. I long for peaceful silence, and yet there is a hopeful lilt in the atmosphere when I hear beautiful harmony. It is in the old carol’s words, “heavenly music (that) floats o’er all the weary world.”

It grounds me in the promise of Hebrew Scripture that there will come a day with a new heaven and a new earth, where the wolf and the lamb shall feed together and the lion shall eat straw like the ox (Isaiah 65: 17, 25). Things will fit together and make beautiful music together. Most Sunday mornings as soon as I wake, I tune into our local classical music station to the offering called “Soul Music.” For three hours I drink in choral music, primarily sacred, sung to ancient texts of Hebrew and Christian Scripture. Some of it is sung in languages other than my own; some of it offers plangent chords and melodies which cover the words. But the bringing together of the voices themselves–four part, madrigal, chant, echoes–all remind me of the promised dream: Peace on earth and good will to all people.

I practice feeding that dream all during Advent and Christmas. This year so far I have heard Eric Whitacre conduct a holiday concert in the downtown Disney Hall, blending old Christmas songs with his modern compositions. I have heard our church choir sing one of Bach’s less known cantatas, “For Unto Us a Child in Born,” expressing words of hope and trust. In our small group of friends who have gathered for 20 years, as we reflected on this past year and anticipated turning into the new year , we sang in the half-light, “O come, thou Dayspring, come and cheer  our spirits by thine advent here…” Then we sang, “Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel,” words from the 9th C. Latin, hoping, looking, trusting, as we are trying to do. And the harmonies reassure me that it is all true!

In my conversations in these days, which can so readily turn to despair and bleakness, I listen for the harmonies can keep me hopeful. There is a family widely divergent in their politics whose members treat each other with love and respect. There is a man who has given himself to caring for an aging family member, as he volunteers at his church for the jobs that no one else does. There is a church who provides a community dinner every Sunday night all year long for the seasonal workers who come through the town. There is a community of educators who unanimously vote to safeguard its students who are at risk of deportation. There is a church who goes out on a limb to bring justice and mercy for those who are at risk in the neighborhood.

My call as the music in me and around me brings harmony to the world is to be one of the voices that fills in the chords, that supports the ostinato beneath the solo, that helps the chorus swell with joy as the Light appears, or even as the Hope of it soothes my heart. I  sense I want to be one of the angels that the carol sings about and let the Hope  in harmony fill me:

And you beneath life’s crushing load, whose forms are bending low,/ who toil along the climbing way with painful steps and slow,/ look now for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the wing:/ O rest beside the weary road, and hear the angels sing. (It Came Upon a Midnight Clear, Sears.)

 

The illustration is taken from “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”

 

 

 

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Out of Balance

31 Sunday Jul 2016

Posted by Elizabeth Nordquist in balance, centering, community, faithfulness

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balance, community, discernment

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I have lost the last month of activity due to a bout with sciatica, which in my case is enabled by a life long habit of walking and sitting out of balance. The right side of my body has been carrying most of the freight of  my balance most of my life, and I learned when I first encountered this condition that with physical therapy and exercise, I could amend this imbalance, were I to be faithful to those practices. But, I allowed other, more accessible, more interesting, more appealing activities to overtake those necessary practices, and there it was: a flare up of the old malady.

I am making progress in redressing in imbalance, but was reminded that my own malady is an embodiment of so many things in our world right now. So much is out of balance–in our environment, in our allocation of resources needed for living, in our political processes, in our church identities, in our relationships, in our own calendars and planners, in our own estimate of our own value and worth. How did we get so off kilter? What have we allowed to take over our perspective and values? Where have we allowed ourselves to be pulled and pushed off the Center?

In my recovery as I have tried to re-calibrate my body, I have had to ask two questions. First, how do I keep myself in touch with the core, the organizing One of my life? My discomfort threw me out of my regular extended practices of prayer and reading, so what brief but constant connections do I need to be making? I found that in this time, since I was so focused on my body already, I could really use breath prayer to remember Who made me just the way I am, the Spirit who lives within me to heal, to energize, to teach, to give me Life. I also found that the music of my life was accessible in the heart as I tried to go to sleep, as I walked, as I re-established my patterns of exercise: “Loving God, here I am,””Peace, be still, the storm rages, peace be still,” “Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to thy bosom fly…”  In addition sacred words, repeated in my heart kept me on target: In life and in death, I belong to God. I remembered that in my tradition, the first act of spiritual practice is to give thanks, so I resurrected my gratitude list, recalling every day what gifts I was being given: a new iris in the front yard, a surprise phone call, a new author or piece of music, a coming together of a project. Thank you God for everything!

In addition to to my own practices, in order to restore my own balance I need the help of others. In my first attempts to begin healing, I couldn’t walk very far without the help of a companion, usually my husband. I have begun walking around the block now, but having had the occasional setback, I still need to hang on during the treacherous parts of upturned pavement, the sharp turns or the surprise lurches. I have needed to ask people to drive me places that are farther than my leg can sustain. I have needed to invite people to come see me at home, rather than go to them. I need a community of people willing to help me out.

When I look at our global and national imbalance, I am conscious that it is only together that we can restore the balance of Spirit that we need so desperately. Therefore, I am so grateful for every voice that calls us to those practices of prayerful action that turn us toward the Holy One, toward God’s intent for justice with mercy, that articulates our call to speak peace even as we pray for our enemies. I need exemplars to give me courage and a template for returning good in the face of evil, for being peace in the midst of chaos, for bringing wholeness in the broken places; for every one who has made herself heard in this way, I give thanks.

Among the things that this latest physical setback has taught me is the fact that striving toward balance is a constant work in progress. I need to be vigilant and faithful in my exercises, mindful of the way I carry myself, observant of those patterns that let me slide. The day of ultimate perfect eternal balance may not come in my life time, but in my own person and in my participation on the world God made, with the compassion and energy of the community, I need to keep up the  holy work of finding balance for the healing of us all.

 

 

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